I have always told my family, "It's too late when the pain is 100%. 'Scream' when it's 70%."

And this time, my wife, who couldn't bear to see my mental illness, kept saying repeatedly, 'You should report this to your boss as soon as possible.

Well, I thought it was too "irresponsible" and "cowardly" for me to "talk a lot to people but not shout myself," so I reported this to my supervisor during the interview.

Now, I am a bit, relieved.

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Well, I found out when it was my turn,

"Difficult to talk to others about one's mental health problems"

First, it is "embarrassing.

Reporting my mental illness to a younger boss takes a lot of courage.

My boss, who is younger than me, is better than me.

There was also concern about whether such a talented person could understand "mental illness."

Second, it is "out of character for me (Ebata).

Even I, who usually criticize the government, bureaucrats, and companies in my blog and columns in a pompous manner, feel a 'gap' when I talk about this "mental illness."

This feeling in a word is,

"Who the hell do you think you are?"

And the biggest reason is that mental illness is difficult to verbalize.

"I feel continual depression," "I feel anxious," "I can't sleep at night and wake up soon after sleeping," "I feel tired and have a slight fever throughout the day," "I have no appetite," "I don't feel motivated."

And above all, it is tough to explain 'the most challenging part is not knowing how long this condition will last.

The above are 'objective facts' but sound 'subjective' when uttered.

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I am an engineer myself, so I have done a lot of research on mental illness.

On top of that, I was astonished to find that even after trying everything suitable for mental illness, such as rest, food, and mood swings, however, this situation still did not improve much.

My best engineering approach doesn't work ---- Horrible mental illness

I became acutely aware of the "inaccessibility" of this mental illness.

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This time, I decided to explain to my supervisor that I was "going to the hospital" and that I was "prescribed stabilizers and sleeping pills," adding the obvious "objective facts."

In my case, I think I have successfully made my boss understand.

After all, my boss and I are both engineers, and I realize that the language between engineers is, after all, "objective fact.

After that, I was considered for the content and quantity of my work, and now I feel that I am gradually recovering from my mental illness, which is a bit of a relief.

Nevertheless, I try to stay on top of my health, my physical condition, and my mental health.

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It is said that reporting, contacting, and consulting (horenso) are essential for mental illness.

However, in many cases, this "horenso" is written under the guise of caring for the individual's health care but ultimately based on the theory of the company or organization -- such is the feeling I get.

Regardless, reporting a mental illness of mine was itself frighteningly difficult.

Even I (Ebata), who usually makes such a big deal out of it... No, it is this me... was intimidated by the "embarrassing," "out-of-character," and "difficult to verbalize" comments.

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I understand the feeling of 'I want to get over my mental illness alone without saying anything to anyone.

And it is easy to guess that many people do so and take no action.

Why can I (Ebata) say that? -- Because nearly half of all suicide deaths are caused by mental illness, the number is astonishingly high.

And -- I know all too well that mental illness can lead to suicide with surprising ease.