I once told this story to a friend (a woman) when I was in college.

"I've never been kind to others, and I don't intend to be, so I don't think I'm in a position where I can expect to be treated kindly"

"I always think of myself cowering by a telephone pole in a city late at night in winter, dying with no one to talk to -- like a bag of garbage"

The only thing I vow is that I will never begrudge anyone for not helping me when the time comes.

"I think that's a balanced way for me to die."

"However, I'm thinking that 'cold' is fine, but I'd be happy if my sense of pain, such as 'intense pain' or 'suffering,' is numbed.

-----

Later, I heard that she had told her parents about it -- I wanted her not to tell about the story to others.

However, her parents said,

"A fine young man"

They had come to appreciate me a lot.

Normally, I would think that I would be evaluated as a 'creepy guy' and told to stop associating with me.

Maybe there are a lot of people who think like me.

-----

So, in my opinion, those who say "I want to die, but I can't" or "I want to be executed" are "not prepared enough".

In addition, it is 'not enough study'.