The other day, I read, so called a mail of "mother of my child friend" in a person’s blog.

I don't understand what she wants to say.

- One phase is too long.

- There are a lot of conjunctions in her mail, but the conjunction doesn't work well, for example "However" and "therefore"

- The words "Sorry" comes at the end of the sentence.

Generally speaking, I cannot understand the contents of the mail.

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However, as soon as my wife read the mail, she could understand the content and teach me it.

At that time, I could find a fact.

""Mother of my child friend" uses cryptographs in her mail."

The mail is going to be decoded and understood by an open key, that the special persons could understand the background each other.

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We, in especially, men in the science and engineering majors, keep saying that these mails are "incomprehensible" or "unintelligible".

This is a ridiculous misunderstanding.

Nothing special.

We don't have a decode key to resolve the cryptograph mail.

Who should be criticized are men in the science and engineering majors, who do not have the ability for high information analysis function of the mothers.

I hear that "Old men like young women" is an accepted theory.

If it is true, I think that I am out of the theory, located in out-band of 3σ of standard deviation.

I don't dislike young women, but I don't like them especially.

Let me think of it.

If a young woman who can argue about justice of Islamic fundamentalist or safety of prototype fast-breeder reactor, I think that I come to like her.

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I dislike the specified young women who raise a queer cry when pashs come on the stage.

To tell you the truth, I hated them with passion.

I thought that they are really dumb

(Of course, I should accept that they hate an old man who want to expound his theory about unusual topical news)

But today I apologise to all of such young women.

I admit my mistake.

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Last night, I found two new title of book, whose author is Nishio Ishin-sensei on the bookshelf in bookstore.

I almost raised a queer cry in the bookstore(It was true).

I could not contain myself for joy.

I felt happier than getting notice of allowance in EU or China or being encouraged with praise about my technical draft sheet by IETF chair person.

When the joy flood over our limitation, it is going to change shrill voice and go out of the world.

I could understand it.

They also cannot leave their joy in their body, when their favourite idols is coming on the stage.

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I think that the life with the shrill voice is greater that the life without it.

(Continuation from yesterday)

Last Saturday, I cooked bowls of rice topped with chicken and eggs, based on onion and garlic, and

Last Sunday, I cooked stew of fibrous meat based on tomato.

Both became disastrous results after all.

I pleaded with my wife to rescue these poor foods, and she tried them. She succeeded in doing them, but the foods became another something against my initial imagination.

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I let me down terribly last weekend.

"As for a feeble cook like me, it is too presumptuous to server dinners for people"

I had a poor dinner with drooping shoulders.

My wife, senior and junior daughters said to me,

"It is good. Delicious"

"New taste is coming."

"Not bad , even if I don't know the original foodstuff"

They seemed to go all out to comfort me.

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I know well.

They also know well that they will be obliged to make the weekend dinner, if I decide to give up it.

I like "winter" in the season, but this is just a comparative problem. I am not good at "hot".

I have already talked about it again and again. I have a insomnia whose type is early morning awakening.

This symptom begins with hay fever. my physical condition becomes the worst in the rainy season, the insomnia is going to be terrible with summer heat. If I switch a air conditioner, my body will be dull and cannot move.

Ah. writing the above, I was gradually getting angry.

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Needless to say, "summer" is the wrost season, and "spring" is also an unpleasant season for me.

On lunch break, looking at freshpeople walking together, I'm about to say "Have a lunch alone!" (Of course, it is none of my business),

When insects start to activate under the ground, and weeds begin to grow arbitrarily, I'm about to shout at the ground, "Why don't you keep silent ?"

I also dislike that not only young people, but also middle agers at their age, have no principles and try to switch to primary color clothes,

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I respect one person with just one point. Even he was a crazy old-fashioned revolutionaries in the later years and let the ignorant youth to "Cultural Revolution". However, he ordered to wear people's clothes even in the scene of diplomacy with foreign VIPs.

I also think that the government might establish common uniforms of the citizens - even though it is irrelevant (thoughtless) with ideologies (for example, fascism etc.).

It is a matter of anything, whenever I read a biography of "Choi Guevara" or some revolutionaries, I come to think "revolutionaries are better to be murdered whey they are young"

Let me return to our subject.

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However, such a nightmare has left.

From now on, hopeful season will come.

I will finish today's diary with citing a famous animation scene.

"Winter will come soon"

"Winter I met with skiing, will come"

"Winter I will not go skiing, will come"

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In the second half (especially from February to March), it overlaps with the delivery date, it is the busiest time of the year.

At this typhoon, I had experienced "power outage" at home for the first time in my life.

(At the time of the earthquake of 3.11, I was waiting for the recovery of transportation in the office without going home )

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At the day, the blackout started before midnight.

Of course, I lost all data of my PC, when I was working on a computer. Three servers running at home (Raspberry PI) also forced down.

However, I have already installed five small LED flashlights at light switch panel of each room. So I could avoided to search them around.

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The problem was "news".

In my house, there are several battery-type radio, but I could not find cells. that were six C size battery.

Such high electric pressures are not needed to work the radio, however, the radio that has a CD player, need several cells.

A portable radio has, of course, has been prepared. But the radio was in the rescue container at the garden. I had no guts to take it in the severe storm with standing in fear of my life.

At the moment I opened the container, I could get an image that all goods were flying to the sky.

I was afraid that the blackout kept modestly long time. However I could not see more than 15 hours.

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In fact, the refrigerator was in big trouble, by this blackout.

This time, I could know that cooling capacity recovers soon, after power feeding.

At the earthquake of 3.11, I heard that the the refrigerator keep food for three day, however, as long as I remember, any food had been damaged seriously.

After the day of blackout, our dinner seemed to include many meat and vegetable for a few days.

(Continuation from yesterday)

Return to the board.

One of the most efficient ways to acquire knowledge is to systematize knowledge and understand from a whole to parts. (This method is currently used in compulsory education, etc.).

However, this is not enough for something to use knowledge as a tool, and change the knowledge to actual activities. For example, engineering technology or business English conversation.

All you need is the time and number of trials.

Naturally, as the trial population increases, the number of successes will increase, of course, the number of failures will increase.

After all, the shortcut to success is not an "Efficient study method", but "inefficient wonks".

"Efficient study method" is one of the outputs of "inefficient wonks" after all.

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The world is full of books that say, "you can easily improve your grades" or "you can easily enter the University of Tokyo".

However, they are just "fiction" that is based on the probability value with a series of astronomical zeros, where a particular organization, human resources, and self-fitness are all perfectly aligned.

Those are stupid contents that ignore the diversity of the "real world".

I also can agree that there are methods of "you can easily improve your grades" or "you can easily enter the University of Tokyo" in "real world".

However, terrible number of trials, time, and correction (feedback) have been needed until the discovery of the method,

And the series of trial processes can be seen from the outside as "inefficient wonks"

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By the way, the above story is not "my belief".

This is a real fact observed from machine translation technology, reinforcement learning technology, and deep learning technology in recent years .

Even computers do "inefficient wonks" after all.

(To be continued)

I think I have told you many times in the past that I was initially opposed to the "conjugal surname system".

I once even thought of homosexuality as a form of mental disorder.

Now, I don't think so.

I'd like to say "because I learned it myself," however, essentially, I've surrendered myself to the changing attitudes of society.

Nevertheless, the idea that "if a lot of people affirm it, it's probably right" is risky.

However, if your stance is "if it's the matter that many people are interested in, I'll look into it myself". Then it's good.

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It took quite a bit of energy to incorporate new ideas (marital separation, homosexuality, etc.) into my life.

Because it also forces me to change the way of other parts of myself. Honestly, this is "hard work".

It's a "painful" process that is unimaginable to younger people, especially for elder people who have lived by existing values.

It's "painful work" and I can't force others to do it.

However, without going through that "painful work," it is impossible to reach out to those who are in pain and suffering from the current system and discrimination. It's so much worse than my pain and hardship.

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But basically, it's "other people's pain" and not "my pain".

No matter how much pain and suffering there is -- it's just for "other people".

You're allowed to ignore it.

I (only) don't blame you.

I also continue to "ignore" a lot of issues.

What I am doing is merely "quantifying the problem". Very few of the problems (solutions) have been reached.

(To be continued)

The awarding of the Nobel Prize in Physics to Dr. Yoshiro Manabe came as a bit of a shock to me.

"The Nobel Prize in Physics for mathematical modeling and simulation is here!"

"Finally, my time has come..."。I'm really impressed.

Well, I might be wrong about two things.

The first is that there may have been a "Nobel Prize" in the past for "mathematical modeling + simulation". I hope you will laugh at my ignorance and let me know.

The second point is, "The mathematical model that Ebata has been working on is this story about 'overtime work' and 'dieting'? You may be taken aback.

Aside from that.

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My own understanding of the significance of Dr. Yoshiro Manabe's Nobel Prize in Physics is as follows.

A complete analysis of global warming is logically possible if you have a computer that can perform infinite calculations at very high speed.

It's called Laplace's Demon.

Global warming does not need to be considered at the level of quantum mechanics, so it is not impossible to achieve Laplace's Demon by force.

However, if we were to do this seriously, it would take a supercomputer 100 years to complete the analysis of atmospheric changes in 1 second (this 100 years could be 1 million years or 10 billion years).

Therefore, in order to perform realistic calculations on a computer, "modeling" is inevitably necessary.

For example, if the modeling can be this simple, it can be calculated in Excel.

However, this modeling is 'deadly difficult'.

First of all, the modeling must not be inconsistent logically (or mathematically) , and it must not deviate from real world phenomena.

And the object is the Earth, the largest object in the world.

So, the significance of this "modeling" is huge for humanity.

Without Dr. Manabe's model, the IPCC would not have moved even a millimeter.

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Up until now, the Nobel Prize in Physics has been awarded for particle accelerators such as the Large Hadron Collider, blue light-emitting diodes, the detection of cosmic neutrinos by the Super-Kamiokande, and so on.

My image was "they need a big piece of hardware".

Therefore, I am very happy to receive the award for "Modeling + Simulation" as if it were my own.

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I am, however, an engineer who "tried and failed to model the IPCC on my home PC.

The above story is about "Ebata who thinks he knows what he's talking about. I will ask that you please take these into consideration.

The other day, my senior daughter told me an amazing story.

When she was serving a foreign customer, but she was in trouble and said just

"Just a moment, please"

and asked the customer to wait, her colleague told her

"Did you (senior daughter) study abroad in a language, Ebata-san?"

(By the way, she did not study abroad in a language program)

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I think that English is used by people who need it when and where they need use it, by their own skill, and it is enough

However the thought of skill is based on "analog English ability" like TOEIC.

In comparsion, the English perspective that "using generic one-phrase English" jumps the idea all the way to "studying abroad, is

"Digital English ability" that has only two states, '0' and '1'"

I think that.

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In the style of Sakamoto Ryoma

"The dawn of Japan is far from over!"

I wanted to shout it.

I am still continuing to do research on depression.

(1) I don't care what other people think -- but to begin with, I don't care what other people think.

(2) Self-centered -- However, others have told me that I am unquestionably self-centered, and I am aware of it.

Other things mentioned, such as exercise, travel, rest, etc., have not worked for me.

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However, as for me, I feel that

"I care what others think of me"

is true.

I do the best I can, even when an absurd amount of work is coming in, and even when it's not -- I'm not good at cutting corners.

However, when an absurd amount of work is coming in, the performance of that work will naturally suffer.

If performance declines, work output will be poor in quality and quantity.

If this is the case, others may think Ebata is "incompetent" and "slacking off."

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However, I cannot stand the fact that others might think I am 'incompetent' or 'slacking off.

Especially when it comes to people I hate, I come to think that

"I just can't stand it when he makes fun of me."

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However, on second thought, I think this story is included in (1) above, "not worrying about what others think."

And this seems to be based on a misperception of the external world.

It is definitely "paranoia" caused by a bloated ego.

Because we, including myself, should pretty much "not give a shit" about other people.

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From the above, the challenges I have to overcome are

- Do not worry about what others may think of me as "incompetent."

and furthermore,

- Come to think that it is okay to be "incompetent" and that it is okay to be evaluated as such.

I am beginning to think that it might be.

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Well, after writing columns for more than a decade, I have come to realize that "there is a frightening amount of things in the world that I don't know.

I have been continually amazed that to learn one small thing, one has to read vast amounts of books, do calculations considerations, and construct logic.

In light of the above, I think I should take the above picture one step further and raise our awareness to the level of

"Everyone is "incompetent," so no one should expect anything from others.

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And, well, after discussing this so far, I'm not sure if I can summarize it as follows:

After all, the root of this problem lies in the fact that I can't get away from the thought,

"I don't come to like someone I don't like"

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You may be thinking, "What in the world is Ebata doing?

In fact, this is one of the ways to deal with depression, a process called "verbalization."